Monday, November 8, 2010

Goodbye. I Guess This is the End.

So, this is the end of this blog - A Beautifool Chaos - and for many of you, the last time you'll hear from me as well. 

It's been about a year since this blog began and over the past year, many, many things have changed, including coming out to my housemates and some of my friends. I have also become more and more comfortable being at least bisexual or gay.

It would be a lie to say that I wrote this blog entirely for myself, because although I wrote this blog for myself and as a form of reflection on my own coming out / acknowledgment process, this blog has also served as a platform for me to actually get to know a lot of you guys - many whom have shared your compelling story with me. You guys are also the reason that I have been moving forward and I have also become really close friend with a number of you, and friends with a few of you.


I really cannot thank you enough for being a significant part of my life and walking this walk with me, and at the same time, over the past year, I've also probably made a few enemies as well so if you're one of them, I apologise. I've never meant to harm anyone or offend anyone - if anything, I just want everyone to be well and happy. And if you want to hug it out, send me an email, rant your heart out and I'll reply.

So, I guess, this is the end. I'll turn this blog into private so its inaccessible within the next few days - I'll check my email for another few days and reply and bid farewell to some of you. I'll also be deleting my twitter account and disappear from your life as quick as I appeared a year ago. I cannot thank you guys individually because I don't even know who else is reading, but if you are, please send me an email - if I want to continue to keep in touch with you, I'll reply and reveal my identity and we'll keep in touch through my real identity.



I don't know what else I can say other than you're all a great bunch of people with so much compassion and kindness. It's so hard to believe that sometimes, but I hope you find them within you.

For all those who are still struggling through life just because of your sexuality, I hope you realise that somewhere, around this big, big world is quite a number of people who would love to give you a great big hug and tell you that "it's okay, mate. It will get better". Whatever shitty time you're going through, please remember that there is always someone who love you just the way you are - you just haven't met the person yet. Get help, reach out, build support and make sure you surround yourself with people you love. I've said this many, many times but I do want you guys to realise that there is hope.

For those who are and have been curious about how I look like, here's a picture for you. I hope that feeds your curiosity and make up for the fact that I am disappearing from your life.

For those who have written me all those love emails (a grand total of 2 of you), I very much appreciate it. To those who have written me emails and shared your stories with me and allow me into some parts of your life, I am so grateful and I cannot thank you enough.

I with you all, only the best and I hope you guys don't wank over my picture keep holding onto hope and happiness.

For the very last time, much love to you all.

PS: The best way to contact me over the next few days is through my email - beautifoolchaos@gmail.com

Added: I wanted to clarify that nothing bad happened or anything dramatic that prompted me to close this blog. I just think that its the right and perfect time to move on from this blog. :) I'm slowly replying to emails, so bear with me.
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